Emergency Bunny Network!! (For all the new readers, that's what EBN stands for.) Okay folks... I understand that this news alert is a bit late and I'm willing to take whatever comments you feel like you need to send my direction. Except from you Ms. Penguin Pajama Pants Out In Public... once you wear normal pants you can come at me for being a day late. As for the rest... let 'er rip! Okay... yup, totally understandable... I know, I'm sorry... ummm, okay, that was a bit harsh but okay... Alrighty, and I think I'll stop with that one. Wow, not sure where that last one came from, but someone has some anger issues that need dealt with (geez... maybe someone just needs a hug, huh?).
And now onward to this month's spotlight on the nefarious bunny mafia. During September, we will be focusing on a bunny that has been out in the wind for far too long. Windy is a real stinker of a bunny, and when he breaks... do not stand downwind of him. At first we thought his name came from the term "Like catching wind in a net", but upon further investigations, examinations, and fumigations, Windy smells for far worse reasons. Don't get close enough for him to brag... he loves to "toot" his own horn. And for the love of all things holy... DO NOT pull his foot!!!! One of the Fabshophop investigators found out just how dangerous this little game is. We here at the EBN wish investigator Randall a speedy recovery. His blurred vision, damaged sense of smell, and loss of eyebrows should all be coming back any time now (we hope). This job is no joke people, we need you to take this seriously. We need you to search the "What's New" area of this very website to find and then report Windy's location to the Fabshophop authorities. Their training makes them qualified, well... almost qualified... isn't that right Randall? It's okay Randall... settle down... that was just a trumpet from the band practice outside, you're okay now. That evil little gas bag won't hurt you anymore.
My friends... we need to get that Bunny off the streets and into an isolation room (with plenty of ventilation). Stay safe out there folks. The bunny mafia is everywhere.