EBN ALERT - APRIL UPDATE!!!
Fear not faithful readers... for the valued information gained from the bingo lady's short sided plan of a bunny day care has already began to pay dividends! In the past couple of weeks alone, we have identified, located, approached, attended, and even ate at three new restaurants while trying to track down these bunnies. What? You thought that we actually caught a bunny without your help? Please, some of the people here at the EBN have issues tying shoes (and they are the velcro kind of shoes). No my dear friends... I rely on your help and support to get the information out to the Fabshophop authorities. My job has always been, and will continue to be, just an information source on where to look for the bunny. After years of my team getting blown away, blown down, and even blown up by these crazy fuzz balls... let's just say they are bit gun shy when it comes to actually approaching them. It's so bad that one of my tech guys has been banned from two local petting zoos due to the panic attacks he would have by just walking next to rabbit enclosures. Poor little kids shouldn't have to see a grown man burst into profane screaming fits and then run around like someone set his socks on fire. It's a bit traumatizing for kids to endure that. I honestly think that one of the bunnies from the petting zoo is a mafia sympathizer and actually DID set his socks on fire... but that's neither here nor there right now.
Let's get to finding a bunny!!! You're mission, should you choose to accept it, is to locate and report back the whereabouts of Ferdinand "The Foot". Why is he nicknamed "The Foot" you ask??? It's simple... he has four of them... and he's luckier than any other we've ever come across. This is the ninth time we crossed paths with Ferdinand and I'm bound and determined to make it our last. Please help us put this mafia bunny away. Our tech team has placed the location of Ferdinand in the "Quilting Kits" location of this website. Please do not try to capture him yourselves, just report his location so that the proper authorities can come in and do what they do. With your help, Ferdinand's luck just might run out (wow... that was a corny way to end this... sorry, I'll do better next time).
EBN News anchorman...