JULY EBN UPDATE!!!...
Ladies and gentlemen... boys and girls... adults of varying maturity... The EBN News Network is proud to bring to you our July spotlight member! That's right. It's going down. The gloves are coming off... it is on people... it's on like Donkey Kong!
For our faithful readers our July bunny is no stranger to any of us. The single most abusive, destructive, law breaking, diabolical, evil genius we've ever come across. What??? No... it's not my mother (although she's close)... it is none other than Bugsy himself. Back again to continue his torturous ways. He has already ruined the lives of countless Fabshophop authority members. Even our dear Bingo Lady (who loves everyone) can't bring herself to like the fuzzball. Sure... I can hear most of you now... "What's going to be different this time around? You'll just get blown up, dropped through portable holes, or have another safe drop out of the sky and Bugsy will get away for a third time." Believe me... I understand your hesitation. I'd be lying if I said that I was a bit nervous as well. Heck, just hearing about Bugsy again is causing me some mild panic. Every time I hear a plane overhead I can't help but to duck and cover expecting an ACME safe or anvil to drop from the heavens. But together with the FabShopHop think tank and our very own EBN laboratories, we've designed new armored vehicles that can withstand an anvil or a safe dropping on them (we hope... it's kind of hard to test that sort of thing). We are better prepared now than ever before! It's obvious that the sheer quantity of new items in the "What's New" area of this site has drawn Bugsy out of hiding. Start there. Search the "What's New" area and begin to report Bugsy's location. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE HIM YOURSELVES!!!! You simply do not have the equipment to handle such a task. Leave this to the professionals. (something tells me I should have down the air quotes around professionals...)
Don't forget... we've still got a few days left to go after the June mafia member. Go the Pre-Cuts area and report his location. Even last second information is still valuable to the FabShopHop authorities. That can make all the difference between a clean and precise arrest, or a sloppy, messy, burn down the building trying to catch a slippery little bunny while trying to look "professional" (got the quotes on that one!) buy still looking like members of the three legged sack race during the company picnic. Remember... we like clean and simple... although a good ol' fashioned dumpster fire of chaos is fun to watch. It's totally up to you.
I'll bring the hot dogs if you all bring the S'mores.... LET'S LIGHT THIS ONE UP!!!
EBN News anchorman...