EBN NEWS ALERT!!!
(New month... new alert... just like clockwork)
Anyone here notice a recent pattern of alarm accidents and mishaps every time we try to leave the studio? Is it karma? Is it fate? Are we just destined to have some cataclysmic event happen to us? (I would like everyone to take note on the impressive vocabulary skills I just demonstrated with the word "cataclysmic") I remember last year when we were able to work through the months without any traffic incidents, animal catastrophes, lab explosions, and of course who can forget the TSA holding cell. Hold on... wait just a minute... I believe that I see a common thread throughout all of this. If we stay back and act as a supporting role instead of trying to run out to the front lines... we don't blow up! That's GENIUS!!! We can still help fight the good fight and still keep all of our extremities. I kinda like the sound of that. As a matter of fact, I'm going to test this theory during May.
As we hunker down in theoretical safety I can say with 100% confidence that this pattern is clue to our May member of the Bunny Mafia. As a matter of fact... I would say that you should investigate the "Patterns" area of the site. It's a bit strange that we haven't received any news or information regarding this mafia member outside of it general location. This is a troubling piece of news. Someone is working very hard to keep as many details hidden from the public as they can. If anyone sees or receives any news updates or information while searching and reporting the location of this bunny mafia member, please send us what you can so we can keep everyone informed. I have a few members of the EBN Network scouring the news outlets and back alleys to find anything they can. As we learn... so will you. Bunnies shouldn't be this tech savvy. I'm honestly a bit concerned.
EBN News anchorman...