IT'S AUGUST - EBN NETWORK NEWS FLASH!!!... and for the love for all that is good... please turn down the weather furnace outside. (check local weather for temperatures in your area)
I believe everyone here at the EBN Network is suffering from heat exhaustion, heat stroke, Miami Heat, and the occasional hang nail (don't laugh... those can hurt). Somewhere in these last two weeks, Bugsy has given us the slip. That's right... for the first time ever in Emergency Bunny Network history, we didn't apprehend the spotlight member of the bunny mafia. As much as it hurts to admit it... it's true. But fear not my faithful readers, for failure is not terminal, failure does not define us, failure is merely a tool to show us where improvements and learning can take place. And to those ends, we shall use this failure to improve and grow as we move into August. We've learned much in these years dealing with the bunny mafia, and now we can add even more to that list of knowledge. This is where we need your help. We don't have a firm identification for the August spotlight member of the bunny mafia. We only have news of where he or she may be hiding. Please go through and look at the "Quilting Patterns" area and begin reporting your sightings. Our experienced tech team will begin to sort through the data and put together an identity file for this bunny. Not going to lie to you, but this is kind of exciting. Not knowing who or what we are dealing with yet. Let's keep on our toes and be as careful as we are diligent in this mission. I will report back as soon as new information comes through.
SEPTEMBER UPDATE!!! (I know it's not September yet... just work with me here people)
New information coming in shows that our August bunny is a close cousin to Bugsy so we're going to try a new tactic. Benny, our spotlight mafia member, is indeed still in the "Quilting Patterns" area of this webpage and our inside informants tell us that he planning on moving to a new area before the Fabshophop authorities can move in on him. So this is what were going to do... we're going to let him move. Let him feel that he's got the upper hand and allow him to fall into a trap that we're currently setting in the "Benartex Fabrics" area. Benny will have no idea that this is happening as long as all you readers maintain a safe distance, act normally, and don't attract attention to yourselves (stop laughing... I know acting normal may be a stretch for everyone, but lets give it a try shall we?). So lets go over this one more time... because seriously... I don't think that all of you were paying attention. Especially you... yes you, in the ever present penguin pajamas. Here we go, step by step...
1) Allow Benny to escape into the "Benartex Fabrics" area at the end of the month. Do not try to stop him.
2) Report his whereabouts to the Fabshophop authorities while maintaining a safe distance.
3) Act normally... Really? Again with the laughter? (This third step may be the hardest of them all)
4) Lastly... once the information is received and vetted, the Fabshophop authorities will swoop in a pick Benny up for questioning.
Plan is solid... the pieces are in place... the act normal part is still a potential issue.
Let's do our best people!
EBN News anchorman...