EBN NETWORK EXCLUSIVE UPDATE!!!
(Of course it's an exclusive... who else is writing about the bunny mafia?)
Firstly... my apologies for being absent recently. My wife just had double knee replacement surgery and I've been doing my best to keep her taken care of during these first few weeks.
I'm back now though... sleep deprived and in pain from sleeping in hospital rooms. Yeah... no telling where this story may end up. Here we go!
By now, everyone should know that the February bunny is hiding out in the "Henry Glass Fabrics"
area of the website. Right? We all know this right? Okay... for those trying to recover from the mother of all drinking binges, I'm going to spell it out for you (see what I did there? Spell it out? I'm typing this... of course I have to spell it out... I SPELL EVERYTHING OUT!). I'm going to type this out real slow for you so you understand. The February bunny is in "Henry Glass Fabrics
". We good? I'll leave this up for a while just in case someone needs a refresher for February. I know... I'm all heart. To be honest, I'm not sure if the February bunny is going to make it all the way through the month. And it's not that the Fabshophop authorities are going to catch him early (seriously... when have they ever caught one early?) but it looks like the bunny mafia may do it for us. We've received some information that the mafia higher-ups have not been pleased with his performance. This is unprecedented as we've never been witness to how the bunny mafia handles some of their "darker" internal affairs. Wait a second... this was just handed to me. Oh my... the bunny mafia is not messing around. A warning was just issued to our February bunny in order for him to hopefully get is act together. If he doesn't, it looks like an unpleasant carpet ride is waiting for him.
Although I have no love for the bunny mafia, I find myself feeling for this poor fuzzball. Let's see if we can help him out. Let's take the last couple of weeks in February and really focus on getting his location reported to the Fabshophop authorities. I would much rather see him hauled off to prison for his crimes than meet the fate that the mafia has lined up for him. Wow. Sometimes reality really hits you right between the eyes. This has hit the EBN team pretty hard. Some of my computer techs said they may become violently ill seeing this. Violently ill? Does that mean they'll get sick and then punch random strangers in the face? Stayed tuned... I'll find the answers to these hard hitting questions.
EBN News anchorman...